Picture the scene; you're outside your local multiplex searching for a flick
to spend the next couple of hours and half your weeks' wage on. Suddenly,
from somewhere off to your right some gobby, mouth-breathing Ned says,
'fuuuuuuckin' 'ell. ANOTHER comic film.'
You try not to look at them. You grind your teeth at the several
levels of ignorance this person wilfully displays in a crowded, public
place. Said moron opts to force his/her 'date' to watch Jennifer Anniston
Romcom 12: The Racheling. A decision said person goes along with in the
hope that it will earn them some points in the quest towards a clumsy, unerotic
sexual act that will unfortunately lead to this non-too-dynamic duo firing off
a similarly low-foreheaded hatchling from the idiot factory that one of them
owns without license or permission from a responsible adult.
Off they go and you've missed your chance to point out the idiocy of the
statement and the ire-cum-hopelessness that even if you had, these knuckle-draggers
would have completely missed the point of your protestations and simply said,
''e'yar! What yer kickin' off for? I know the ______ family from
the ______ estate.'
Blah, blah, blah.
So, what would you have said?
Well, I'd firstly like to point out that, just like the bilge they have
opted to watch, a film - for better or worse - is usually made because there is
an audience for it. Simple economics. Next I'd point out that they
themselves have probably watched many 'comic' films already themselves without
even knowing it; something they might realize if they'd ever picked up an item
of literature without the sole intention of ripping the corner off the back
cover to make a roach. The main error yonder Neds have made here is
assuming that all comics feature classical spandex wearing superheroes and
would no doubt be dumbfounded were they to be told that films like, Tintin, Men
In Black, Sin City and Road To Perdition all began life as sequential art
tales.
Then cometh the kicker. I might also direct this bird-brained brace
that whilst there is indeed a 'comic film' on at the cinema (in this instance
The Amazing Spiderman) they have no less than three light-weight romcoms to
choose from (also in this instance The Five Year Engagement, Friends With Kids
and Magic Mike) so have not only no right to complain but indeed plenty of
reason to rejoice.
Of course, as a reasonable and largely private person with more than a
modicum of grace and knowledge of how to conduct oneself in public you say nothing.
And rightly so. To try to educate such 'people' would take more time and
energy than it takes to forget they exist for a while and in all likelihood be
an ultimately futile enterprise.
SUPERHEROES are enjoying a wee bit of a renascence at the moment. Quite
rightly too. To the couple from this recounting and their ilk I say,
don't worry. There always have been and always will be low-rent romcoms
about self-absorbed people spending ninety minutes navel-gazing their way to an
inevitable pairing-off ending...
...without one singular surprise in sight.
