Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Old King Cola

Seasons greetings!

That's right; I do like this time of the year.

Folk will of course grumble that it's too early to talk about Christmas until whichever point they feel the festive season should suddenly go from being a dirty secret to a full blown tinsel-fest.  To those people I say 'fair enough but should there then be a referendum on when it should be then allowed to mention Santa and mangers and such.

For some the start of the twelve days is where it's at; for others the onset of December is the kick-off:- Frankly, I'd happily wish anyone a merry 'un if they were to approach me with a 'ho-ho-ho' any time in the weeks building up to the big day.  There is however a contingent of the populace out there with a somewhat disturbing marker of Yuletide's approach.

The first appearance of a winter themed Coca-Cola ad.

One has to question a series of motivations in this instance.  Firstly, why a commercial?  Not only the very thing that tends to be much maligned at any other time but also just that:- A company's showcase to shift more of its product.  Secondly, why Coca-Cola of all things?  Whatever one might think of the slew of advertisements from the supermarkets and dubious hamper merchants, at least they tend to be pushing Christmas specific wares.

What suddenly makes this one beverage, made primarily of carbonated water, sucrose, corn syrup, caffine, phosphoric acid and food colouring representative of the advent of many a religions figurehead is certainly up for debate.

I prefer Pepsi anyways.

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

An Addendum

As my regular follower(s) will know, I recently posted a extended oration detailing the massive disadvantages of the general populaces insistence on introducing yet more screaming, selfabsorbed versions of themselves into an already over-populated, dying world, just to justify their own vapid existence/get an increase in tax-payer funded benefits.

Within days of summarizing ths issue, the media announced the  birth of Earths' seven billionth human.  This was reported in the free, badly-written bus sufferers rag The Metro, accompanied by a picture of a woman holding said sprog and smiling as though she'd done nothing wrong.

Just to put things into perspective, baby seven billion was reputedly born only twelve years ago meaning that before you can say Jack Robinson (although nobody has ever satisfactorily explained to me why you would) baby eight million will be along to take up more of your hard-earned tax money and slightly more necessary oxygen.

Now, bearing in mind that in reading this, it's fair to assume the reader has access to the Internet, might I suggest a step towards an answer to the elephant in the room that is the looming population crisis?

It's call 'the money shot'.

That's right ladies and gents.

You all have access to even the most rudimentary of porn sites and the rare few that aren't familiar with the concept can soon appraise themselves of the wonders of a breast/back/stomach/ bottom/vagina/chin spattered punchline to the joke that is sexual intercourse.

Is it the last word in pregnancy and STI avoidance?  S**t no but it's a heck of a lot better for the environment than a hundred hybrid cars and a thousand brown bins.

Think on, ya filthy animal