Hear Ye, Hear Ye

Most people would, if asked, say they 'keep up on the news'.  It's a broad sentiment but whatever your stance is, you do.

For example, you may not read the paper and may instinctively hit the + channel button on your remote at the site of a scrolling report banner as though every second you delay will result directly in the death of a cherished family pet, but you are by and large aware of the issues that immediately pertain to your situation.

Is the economy principally okay?  Has the despot of the week been shot through the eye?  Has my pension been spunked up a tired, jaded, illegally imported prostitute by a soulless, piss-drip of a so-called person that works for one of our great banking institutions?

These are worthy questions but what is the price of knowledge?  It's having to suffer the woeful and empty tales about kicking sport players and orange women who seem to have completely circumnavigated the burning 'why am I here' question in favour of being so pointless that they themselves could not honestly tell you what they are for.

At the time of writing, a man who tries to make a ball go over there is still headline news after a month because he put his willy in a lady and became surprised when this reality television 'star' turned out to be a shameless, fame-hungry oxygen-thief of even less merit than he himself.

We shall not be looking at this with any kind of scrutiny here.  It's just that I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!  A man, albeit a barely evolved one, had sex in a 'lady'.  That's the news that supersedes the daily atrocities, the war, famine, pestilence and continued career of Justin Lee Collins?  Why oh why can't we be allowed to filter news levels so that right-minded people can stay up to date on the grown-up stuff and people who watch pretty any of the detritus that's on on Saturday nights can remain informed about which low-forehead has been goaded by Max Clifford into following Jordan between despicable shindigs like Landon following Taylor in Planet Of The Apes.

As Sherlock Holmes said; I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things, so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it.